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Should I get married?

The short answer

Marry only if you already act married — shared money, shared decisions, shared hard conversations — and the answer to 'would I choose them again today?' is a clean yes.

Signals to weigh

  • 01You fight well — repair is faster than rupture.
  • 02Money conversations are boring, not explosive.
  • 03You like who you are around them.
  • 04Family, kids, geography, faith — you've said the hard sentences out loud.

How to decide

  1. Step 1Write your top five non-negotiables. Have them write theirs. Compare.
  2. Step 2Run the 10-10-10: how will you feel in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years?
  3. Step 3Do one week of pre-marital counseling — cheaper than divorce, sharper than advice.
  4. Step 4Separate the wedding from the marriage. Decide the marriage first.

Framework used

10-10-10 Rule

Full walkthrough of the framework, with examples and pitfalls.

Consider these alternatives

  • ·Long-term partnership without legal marriage if the paperwork is the only pull.
  • ·Wait 12 months and re-ask if you're deciding under family or timeline pressure.

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