Should we move in together?
The short answer
Move in when you're solving a shared question — not to test the relationship. Testing by cohabitation almost always accelerates a mediocre relationship into a stuck one.
Signals to weigh
- 01You're saying yes to them — not to cheaper rent.
- 02You've spent 3+ consecutive weeks together without a blow-up you couldn't repair.
- 03You agree on chores, guests, sleep, and money — in writing, not vibes.
- 04You both want the same next step (engagement, marriage, or open-ended).
How to decide
- Step 1Run a pre-mortem: 'It's 12 months in and it's failing — why?' Address the top three now.
- Step 2Sign a written agreement: rent split, exit terms, furniture, pets, deposit.
- Step 3Trial two weeks living together in one place before the lease.
- Step 4Pick a lease shorter than your certainty. Six months beats twelve.
Framework used
Pre-Mortem →Full walkthrough of the framework, with examples and pitfalls.
Consider these alternatives
- ·Keep separate places and spend 4 nights a week together — same intimacy, cleaner exit.
- ·Delay six months and revisit — if it's right, it will still be right.
Run this decision inside Compass
Get a personalised answer to your version of this question.
Free · Private · Actionable
Begin